Two. Years. If someone would have told me two and a half years ago that I would be a non drinker I would have laughed in their face. I am very impulsive and impatient. I have issues with follow through and I give up on things easily. Most importantly, I thought drinking was living. It thought it was fun, exciting, and the thing that set me free.
When I stopped drinking, my original intention was to feel better physically. All of that “living” had started to get the best of me and I had hit an emotional low. While I definitely do feel better physically, that’s the the least exciting thing about what I’ve gained. What I learned is that drinking was holding me back from living my life. It took up so much mental and physical time that I didn’t have room for much of anything else. Since eliminating alcohol from my life I have gained opportunity for growth and that growth.
If there is anything that you’re doing that is potentially holding you back from living your best life here’s what I want you to know…..
Change is hard as shit. But do you want to know what’s harder than change? Thinking about changing and staying in the same miserable place. Nothing creates more internal turmoil than wanting to change something and doing nothing about it. I know because I lived in that place for years. You must step into your power and make the first teeny move. Maybe that’s committing to one small adjustment in your behavior. Maybe it’s reading and learning more on the topic. Maybe it’s talking to someone about your needs. Regardless, without the first step, nothing is going to happen for you. No magical solution is going to arrive at your doorstep that will take away the discomfort of change. You can’t buy your way out of it or have someone else do it for you. You can’t think and hope your way to change without action. It all comes down to YOU. There will be unknowns, uncertainties, and you will be a beginner. Just like you were at your job before you got great at that. Just like you were before you learned to drive. And just like you were before you knew how to literally do anything that you have ever done. You will learn, it will get easier. In the words of Amelia Earhart “The Most Effective Way To Do It Is To Do It….”
2. There is no “right time.” Cousin Franny’s wedding next month shouldn’t be the thing holding you back. There will always be something. A wedding, a trip, a conference, an event, etc. You don’t make change by clearing your social calendar for the rest of your life and never facing a challenge. You make change by being successful at each point along the way while gaining confidence and skills as you learn. It won’t be easy the first few times. That’s ok.
3. Using willpower will fail you. This might be controversial but I attempted willpower hundreds of times and failed. I wrote a whole post on this and I still believe that it won’t work. Using willpower isn’t changing. It’s a method to deprive yourself of doing something that you want to do. This will be hard and you will feel cheated, sad, and you may eventually break under pressure. Changing your mindset and developing a strong WHY is changing. And there are tools to help that are far better than willpower.
Now, please excuse me for a sec while I grab my megaphone…….
THIS IS YOUR LIFE FRIENDS. This is it! There is no promise for tomorrow! There is no right time! There is no excuse! There is no when I get older or if I were younger! There is no when I have more money, time, freedom, support! The time to start living your life is right now!
YOU WILL FAIL! You will make mistakes. You will embarrass yourself. You will have to feel feelings. You will have to be uncomfortable for a bit. You will have to ask for help. This is called growth and it’s exhilarating and exciting!
YOU HAVE A PURPOSE. You do. Each and every one of us was born with a purpose and no matter how big or how small it may feel it has meaning and it will bring joy. But, sometimes, instead of honoring that pull or stepping into our truth we avoid it, walk around it, dabble in and out, or pretend it’s not there. We cover it up with our history, we hide behind our trauma, we make a long list of excuses, we pour chemicals all over it, and we try really hard to resist. This resistance is why we are unhappy. Resisting is so much harder than just stepping into who were meant to be. I know this from years of experience.
Find a way to quiet all of the noise and listen to yourself. Listen to the messages and see what your heart is asking for. You might not hear it at first but keep listening. It will get louder and louder the more you quiet the noise of your ego, distractions, and avoidance. Once you hear it believe that you are worthy of this change. You are worthy of having a better life. You are worthy of wanting more. You are worthy of fulfilling your wildest dreams. You are worthy of happiness and joy!
My thing was drinking. It’s what I used to hold me back because I was too scared to step into myself and give life my all. What’s your thing? What’s holding you back? Where will you be in two years from now?
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