Fear is a tricky emotion.  One thing I think we could all agree on is that fear feels terrible.  No one wants to feel it and so we spend enormous amounts of time, money, resources, and efforts trying to avoid it at all costs.

We think we have control and that if we push it away, escape, and pretend it’s not there that it will stay far away in the distance.  We don’t connect that its fear that wakes us up in the middle of the night, makes us physically sick at times, and causes all kinds of other bothersome behaviors that we wish we didn’t do.

But fear is unavoidable.  We all have it.  It’s part of being a human.  It’s actually a survival skill that started as a way to protect us from being chased by a bear or eaten by a tiger.  When we feel it our body jumps into protection mode and sends our brains a big surge of chemicals that tell us “Oh shit, something bad is happening so I either need to fight this off or flee.”

How does a fight or flight response help us when the world is facing a historical pandemic?  Good question. For starters, we can’t physically fight off having the flu.  There is no jab, punch, or karate kick that could make this thing go away.  So, instead of fighting with a physical sensation we use our next most powerful tool, our words.

We use our words to yell, scream, and to project all of our fear.  And since the coronavirus can’t really listen, we displace our anger onto other people. This looks like people writing mean things on Facebook or Instagram.  First, it’s targeted toward the government, then onto doctors, then onto other countries who “started it.”  Then, it’s onto people who are trying to be prepared.

High fear means highly agitated so we will also ooze this onto our family and friends.  We might feel edgy and find ourselves snapping at our kids for no reason or rolling our eyes when our scared neighbor tells us she stocked up on toilet paper.   

Next, for those of us (like me) who prefer to flee when you see a bear coming.  You might respond by trying to escape.  Since we cannot literally run away from the Coronavirus then we are likely to find ways to numb.  Drinking, overeating, scrolling away on Instagram, shopping online for things that have nothing to do with the current situation, and making fun of the virus altogether.  

All of these methods might feel good in the moment but they are short-lived and will come back with a vengeance if used long term.  Drinking too much and eating foods that have no nutritional value will weaken your immune systems making you more susceptible to illness.  

One more shitty thing about fear is that it often triggers more fear.  Have some unresolved childhood trauma?  Experienced a crisis in the past?  Unresolved loss?  You can bet, anytime more fear comes up you may feel triggered again.  This is confusing and can lead to a whole host of emotional turmoil.

Over the last couple of weeks, I have experienced a lot of these feelings.  When I first heard about Coronavirus I rejected it as being an issue and believed that alarmists were trying to scare me into thinking something bad was happening.  As the closings, cancellations, and people I trusted started to respond I began to feel nervous and noticed my anxiety rising and some anger coming up.  Then, last night I ate an entire portion of chips and queso by myself while scrolling through IG with my heart pounding and palms sweating.  I started to cry when I heard the news of school cancellations.  When I thought about the economical impact that this will have and the children left home alone with no lunch I felt sick from the food I ate and spent most of the night awake with a stomachache.

So, I woke up early to write this up as a reminder that it’s ok if you’re scared.  It’s ok to not know what is happening and to feel lost.  It’s ok if you experienced fear and then projected it out in all the wrong ways.  It’s ok to forgive people who don’t know how to deal with their own fear.  

But the one thing I know for sure is that the only way out is through.  No amount of rejection, avoidance, numbing, or projection is going to solve this.  You will have to feel your fear. You will not spontaneously combust like you think you will.  You will not implode.  

You may need to ask for help.  You will need to lean on your loved ones (from a safe distance of course).  You may need some amped-up therapy sessions.  But now is the time to take care of your body and your soul.  Putting your mental and physical health first is actually the one thing that you can control.

If you’ve derailed as I have then let’s get back on track.  Love is the best defense against fear.  Let’s make our bodies our priority by drinking lots of water, eating nourishing foods, limiting social media, and getting enough sleep.  Let’s share love with others by offering compassion and acceptance that we are all at different stages in our processing. And let’s love on those who need us most by being socially responsible and accepting that, while we may not be directly affected by this virus, we can reduce the impact for those who are.

As always, thank you so very much for reading. Want to get more in depth with these posts for an ongoing conversation? If so, join my private facebook group here. And, if you would like to have my exclusive gift of resources and information, get that right here.