Throughout my 20’s, I had some not so great romantic relationships. I remember one time when things were going particularly bad, I told my friend “I’d rather be unhappy for the rest of my life than to be without him.” I was talking about not wanting to break up even though things pretty much sucked.

Of all of the things I’ve written here, this is definitely the most embarrassing. It sounds so desperate, pathetic, and even a little bit cray cray. Luckily, I didn’t pursue my wildest dream of living unhappy and that relationship ended. As a result, better things started happening to me.

When it came to alcohol, I had the same exact thoughts. There was a time when living with hangxiety, sleep disruption, hormone disruption, waking up with a bad taste in my mouth, being bloated, and feeling a little bit crappy all the time just didn’t seem worse than not ever drinking again. I told myself that I’d rather wake up with a bit of hangover for the rest of my life than to quit drinking.

Quitting drinking can be a lot like leaving a crappy relationship. Alcohol was the one thing I turned to in good times and bad. Even though it never made me feel any better, it was comfortable, safe, the thing I knew-which was way better than the fear of the unknown. Every time I started to get down about it or think that maybe I should consider cutting back or quitting, the good times would suck me back in. Instead of rehashing all the horrible hangovers, the memory loss, the guilt, and the stress it caused, I only recalled the wonderful nights out with friends, the parties, the laughter, the music, the relief that I felt as that first sip oozed it’s way down my throat.

When I did finally decide to break up with alcohol, it was like having an ex. Being around it was awkward. Going out to places it might be made me nervous and sad at first. Talking about it made me angry and tearful at times. I couldn’t stop thinking about it and cried in my pillow wondering when I would stop thinking about it. I thought I might not ever be the same with it no longer there. It was hard.

But, just like with my breakup from a person, I started to get used to the idea of not having it around. I started to see that it wasn’t always good and that the stress that it caused had outweighed the good times. I realized that I could live without it. I stopped listening to the sad songs and I started feeling better. A little bit better day by day until eventually, not only was I not sad that it wasn’t in my life, I was happy. Very very happy.

People move on from breakups. They go on to live fabulous and wonderful lives despite the rough patch. We know this is true and we have seen it happen time and time again with our friends, family members, loved ones, and acquaintances. We probably all know someone who got out of a crappy relationship and turned things around for the better.

Quitting alcohol is a lot like that. It’s like leaving that crappy relationship that you tell yourself is making things better but you know deep down it’s making things worse. Once the shock of the change is over things start to look up. And before long you find the true love of your life which happens to be you.