Making the decision to take a break from alcohol is HUGE.  Depending on your relationship with alcohol you’re probably somewhere on the spectrum of Oh Shit What Do I Do With Myself? to maybe feeling relieved.  Regardless, making a big change like not drinking takes some effort and probably leaves you wondering when you’ll start to heal. When I first stopped drinking there were three burning questions that I wanted to know.

When will I feel better?  This was my number one question.  The Type A, planner, and control freak in me needed to know how long the agony, discomfort, and insecurity would last.  I needed to know what I was in for. I craved the exact date from the time that I took my last sip that I would feel confident, energized, and of course happy.  I was pissed that no articles on the internet clarified for me how many weeks, days, and hours it would take for me to be “cured.”

This process is different for every single person.  There is no certain amount of days or weeks. In actuality, there was no “day” that I felt healed, cured, changed, transformed, and all of the other fancy words that I was sure would describe my experience.  In fact, I’m still working on that part. However, each day that I don’t drink is a day further away from the life I no longer want and toward the one that I’m growing now. Instead of experiencing this one big massive moment when I felt cured, I experienced small wins, tiny steps, and milestones that I celebrated (and still celebrate) with joy.

When will I lose weight, my skin starts to glow, and I gain all the amazing benefits that everyone talks about?  Early on my journey, I found this infographic with timelines of what happens when you stop drinking.  It said things like Week three, the alcohol is finally detoxed from your body. Week 6 you’ll feel less bloated. Week 8 a magic unicorn will arrive at your door and take you on a ride through pink clouds. Not exactly, but you get the point. I saved this to my desktop, my phone, and I even printed it out so I could look at it over and over.  While it was meant to be used as a guide, I needed it to be true so that I could feel validated that I made all the right decision.

My skin did improve.  My anxiety stopped being the sole focus of my life.  The cloud lifted.  I had more energy.  All of the promises came true but they didn’t exactly happen in the order of the little info sheet from an online resource.  They happened in a timeline that was specific to me and my body.  It’s also important to note that when I stopped drinking I interrupted the damage.  I was no longer using a carcinogen. I stopped disrupting my hormones.  I stopped increasing the chances for severe addiction. I stopped feeling hungover. And, so much more.  So, while I may not have had glowing skin at day 17, I could feel good about knowing that I had stopped damaging myself and that my body was recovering every single minute that I wasn’t drinking. 

When will I never think about drinking again?  Every sober person I admire hinted at the fact that I would one day stop thinking about alcohol.  Holly, Laura, Annie Grace, Carly, Gabby, and there were others all assured me that alcohol would one day take a backseat.  I can promise you that I never think about alcohol (unless of course, it is for the sake of this blog).  I don’t salivate when people drink around me.  I don’t wish I could have just one.  I don’t feel like I’m missing out.  I don’t notice what’s on tap.  I don’t think about how at 5’oclock I won’t be able to have wine or beer or happy hour.  I am free from the chains completely.  In fact, it’s my most favorite part about being sober-never having to f’ing think about it again!  

I don’t know the exact timeline for when this happened but it took a while for sure.  Alcohol is everywhere.  It’s at the bars, restaurants, and parties obviously.  But it’s also at yoga, work meetings, pools, school functions, church gatherings, farmers’ markets, Target, and most homes in the US. So, it’s not like an out of sight out of mind situation.  It’s NEVER out of sight.  It takes time to see first the role that alcohol plays in our lives, then the clarity of why/how you may have gotten to a point where alcohol was no longer working, and then time to tune it out.  I replaced thinking about alcohol with thinking about writing, reading, nature, coffee, essential oils, yummy recipes, helping, running, connecting, playing the ukulele, and so much more. That was a big important part.

The point is that you’re doing it! If you’ve stopped drinking you’ve already done the biggest step. Every single moment from here on out will get better and things in your life will become more clear. It will take time and the more effort you put toward your new life alcohol-free, the less you’ll wish for your old one. The gifts will show up when you least expect them. I’m approaching 3 years of living sober and it honestly keeps getting better. Laura McKowen writes First: Impossible, Then: Difficult, Then: Strange, Then: Normal, Then: Wouldn’t have it any other way. This the best timeline I’ve ever seen.