Before I quit drinking, I would have loved a headline like this. My thinking was “Yes, I’ll click to see if I really have a drinking problem.” I’d read through the details while comparing my drinking to the “signs.” But, the problem was, at that time, I couldn’t really be honest with myself. I would say things to myself like “Well, I did do that……but that was only because of (insert lame excuse here).”

There’s a scientificish theory for this. It’s called confirmation bias and it means the tendency to interpret new evidence as confirmation of one's existing beliefs or theories. This means that people have a tendency to skew information to match what they want to hear. For example, if the article I read had ten things that matched my behavior as a drinker but one thing that did not (like a DUI) then I was likely to say to myself “welp, I didn’t get a DUI so I don’t have a drinking problem” regardless of the other evidence.

So I’ll start there.

1) If you’re seeking information about whether or not you have a drinking problem and then making excuses or justifications of why you do not then you might have a problem. By “problem” I don’t necessarily mean alcoholism or life-threatening liver failure. I mean that drinking is having some kind of negative effect, but you’re not quite sure exactly what that is. You drink a little more than you like, you wake up feeling foggy, and you wish you felt better. You wonder to yourself, could this be the drinking? But you feel confident it’s not-since most of what we know about drinking comes from mainstream media and you haven’t done anything like what you’ve seen in the movies. And yet, you can’t help but click on headlines like this one or google “how many drinks a day is too many?” (It’s two, by the way). That “itch” is your sign that drinking may not be serving you any longer.

2) You feel frantic or behind a lot of the time. Alcohol takes up massive time and space. Unfortunately, many adults are already stretched very thin. We are overworked. We lack proper sleep. We struggle to get through the growing amount of daily tasks. We lack time for what we love to do (hobbies, family time, healthy living, vacation, etc). Most people report that once they start drinking the thing they are doing is drinking. In other words, once happy hour rolls around they start drinking and other things (like hobbies) get pushed to the wayside. We forget to do that extra load of laundry, we didn’t make that difficult phone call to consolidate our bills, we didn’t have the energy to go to the gym, we didn’t work on our passion project after work, we didn’t decompress using art or play, etc. Drinking replaces all of those things leaving us feeling behind, unfulfilled, and frantic when the next day rolls around. It’s the drinking that creates a problem.

3) You sleep like crap. I’m currently working on my TEDx Talk coming up in Jan. That means I’ve been doing more research to refresh the role that casual drinking plays in our lives. Alcohol’s impact on sleep is massive. At first, alcohol gives you the illusion that you are relaxed. But after time, it begins to wear off and causes imbalances. Basically, good sleep requires a natural progression of sleep stages. Alcohol interrupts these stages which can lead to insomnia and increase the effects of sleep apnea. If you have a glass or two (or more) at night to help you relax it’s likely having a really negative impact on your sleep which, in turn, impacts other areas of your health. Drinking may be the problem that’s interrupting your sleep (therefore a drinking problem).

4) You have terrible anxiety. Again, scientifically speaking, alchol is really bad for your mental health. Many people turn to booze to help them decrease stress and relax. But, alcohol does not help with stress in any way. It dumps a bunch of artificial feel good chemicals into your brain making you feel tipsy at first. But then, just like with sleep, as the body begins to process what is happening it tries to balance and stabalize. Toxins are released into the bloodstream and feel-good chemicals like dopamine and serotonin are depleted. When your brain’s chemicals are out of whack, you experience more symptoms of anxiety and depression. If you are in therapy, taking meds, doing all the right things, but still drinking you might discover that you have a problem with drinking and it’s that it is worsening your mental health. (If you can’t already tell, I’m trying to get you to rethink the term “drinking problem.”)

5) You plan for drinking too much. When you start living your life in preparation for a hangover you probably have a drinking problem. Maybe you plan to have childcare all day after a concert or party you’re planning to attend. Maybe you know you will wake up in the middle of the night with a headache and dry mouth so you set water and a couple of pain relievers on your nightstand. You feel frustrated when your friends suggest dinner across town because you know you will drink too much and driving is going to be an issue. Planning for dinking begins to feel like work (if you know you know) and therefore a problem.

6) Okay, I know I said 5 but this one is important. You think life will be boring without alcohol. If you’re life is so consumed with alcohol that you can’t think of other things to do for fun then it’s likely you have placed too much emphasis on drinking and that’s a problem. I say this with love because this one was huge for me. My hobby was drinking, my favorite pastime was drinking, everything revolved around drinking. It wasn’t until I stopped that I realized how caught up I was in using alcohol to enhance my life. Again, scientifically, it does not do this. Sure, a buzz feels good at first, but alcohol dims your senses and disrupts almost every single bodily function. If we heard our friend who uses cocaine say “but nothing will be fun without it?” We would say to them…..you have a problem. Drinking is no different.

We have been brainwashed to believe that a drinking problem is DUI’s, drunken brawls at the bar, streaking naked in the street, domestic abuse, passing out with a cigarette and burning down the house. All of these things are problematic for sure. But if drinking is causing any kind of negative feelings, hangovers, regret, additional stress, etc. then it’s a problem and it’s perfectly okay to claim it as such. This doesn’t mean you’re doomed. It doesn’t mean that you must call yourself an alcoholic. Hell, it doesn’t even mean that you must become sober at once. It means that it’s okay to assess the role that alcohol plays in your life. Don’t be fooled by the stigma.

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