Many years ago, before I stopped drinking, I was scrolling through Facebook and saw a random post from an acquaintance that they were now sober. I immediately did that thing of place them into the category of “serious problem drinker” while I stayed safely in my “likes to drink for fun” category. I took a couple of IB profuen to numb out the slight headache that I had from drinking one too many IPA’s the night before and went on about my day.

The topic of sobriety meant nothing to me. I knew nothing about it, barely knew anyone who was doing it, and quite frankly didn’t care one bit. Well, that’s not completely true. I did have a ping of discomfort that would arise when the topic of “not drinking” came up. It may have been curiosity but I covered it up with irritation. Anyone who wasn’t a drinker just “wasn’t for me.” Drinking was one of my biggest hobbies and pastimes and I just couldn’t get comfortable with the idea that some people didn’t love it like I did.

That is until I stopped loving it and became obsessed with seeking out anyone who had already broken up with booze to find support, validation, and encouragement. I went from avoiding non drinkers at all costs to surrounding myself with as many sober people as possible. It was a stark change. One that has reshaped my life in every way.

This month I have spent a lot of time talking about alcohol. I have been asked to present to wellness committees. I have taught several classes on the benefits of an AF lifestyle. I have led groups of people in discovering the link between alcohol and mental health. I was interviewed in Authority Magazine about 5 Lifestyle Tweaks That Can Dramatically Improve Your Well Being, and you may have guessed that number one was to assess your alcohol intake. In other words, talking about sobriety is a big part of what I do everyday………… which is not great for my popularity. No one wants a cheerleader for sobriety telling them how bad alcohol is when all they can think about is making it to happy hour.

The subject that I am now so comfortable with seems to make other people very uncomfortable. In my meetings and presentations the feedback I get is non existent. There are no issues with nodding along or sharing a story about anxiety, mental illness, parenting struggles, or other things I bring up during my presentations but when I start to share about drinking too much…it’s crickets. No one says a word. It could be that I really suck at presenting, but I have a hunch that it’s more than that. This topic is still taboo. No one wants to shake their head or nod in agreement that they have been hungover before. No one really feels like admitting that they sometimes drink too much. No one wants to confess that they have questioned if their alcohol use is slightly problematic. And finally, people get really annoyed that I’m bringing something up that they are trying so hard to keep down…..way down.

Despite the blank faces and the lack of comments or questions I get during my presentations I plan to keep trudging on. I say a little prayer to the Universe that I’m planting seeds and helping people feel more comfortable to explore. This article showed up in my inbox and I felt a furious rage come over my body. Why are we accepting this as normal? Is it because almost everyone at every level feels like I once did? As a culture we can agree to debate eliminating pesticides, plastic bags, water guns, sugar, but please please don’t take the wine. We are so heavily reliant on our booze that the topic feels off limits.

I’m not for prohibition. Let me be clear that I DON’T want everyone to stop drinking. I DO want to raise awareness. I’ve recently been using the term “informed consent.” Informed consent is defined as permission granted in the knowledge of the possible consequences. I want it to become crystal clear that when we have that glass of wine or big ass margarita that we understand that it is linked to cancer, increases depression and anxiety, is highly addictive, and that it’s responsible for more deaths than any other drug. I want people to know the consequences that they are choosing. I desperately want them to understand that the thing that they are turning to for relief is actually causing more turmoil. I want people to stop acting surprised when someone they know becomes addicted or even dies from alcohol consumption. I want us to think twice before talking about the dangers of other hard core drugs like cocaine and heroine while we tip back our glasses like it’s no big deal. I want our kids to know that drinking is harmful.

I get that this topic sucks. I hate being the killjoy. But if not me, then who? I was completely blind to the negative impact that alcohol was having on me. I blamed it on one million other things while suffering with anxiety and mild depression. I would have given anything for someone to come along and say to me “Hey girl, you know it’s just the alcohol causing you all of these problems right? If you stop drinking, you’ll feel 100 times better.” The only regret I have about quitting drinking is not quitting sooner.

Nevertheless, I’ll teach my classes and talk to the people and I’ll take in the blank stares and the fear in their eyes as they discover that they, too, might have to quit the one thing that they love doing more than anything else. I’ll be here for the private messages, the questions, and the curious anonymous readers that come to my blog at two in the morning. I’ll be here. Sober, happy, and proud even though that means unpopular and a tad annoying because sharing about this topic feels really important.